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Backed Up At The Drive-Thru

Three days of McDonald’s a la Supersize Me

What have I gotten myself into?” I thought to myself as I laid my “hot and fresh” breakfast out in front of me: A hot chocolate, some hash browns and a McGriddle. The hot chocolate wasn’t bad, and I went through the hash browns relatively quickly. But I knew I was screwed when my eyes rested on the McDonald’s double arch logo branded into the “bread” of my sandwich. I had a good staring match with the thing for a solid 10 minutes as Emma Kellogg’s voice kept insisting: “Come on, it’s not that bad just eat it!” It took every ounce of self-control in my body to not throw the rubbery sandwich in her face.

I have plenty of gory details to share, but first let’s go over the mission. Remember Supersize Me? The movie where the guy ate McDonald’s all day, every day for 30 days? Well my mission was to do the same, but for three days instead of 30. Hey, sounds like heaven to me! Crunchy fries and Oreo McFlurries all paid for by the journalism budget! But damn, I had no idea what I was in for.

The first person I told about my imminent endeavor was my mom. She responded with, “Okay. Have fun,” and then walked away. Damn, the passive aggressiveness was too real.

Anyway…back to the food. To put it simply: it was disgusting. My parents usually make me eat relatively healthy food, so McDonald’s (or any fast food) has always been somewhat of a treat. Over the span of the first two meals, McDonald’s food turned from a treat to a chore. After lunch on day one, the second of nine meals on this ordeal, I felt bloated to the point where I didn’t eat anything for the rest of the night.

As I was pulling into the drive-thru for dinner on day two, I could only bring myself to order small fries and a water, also known as the most unorthodox McDonald’s meal ever. My stomach felt so bad that I only ate about three fries. Even the water tasted like it was calorie-infused.

I’ll admit, I was supposed toeat a total of nine McDonald’s meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner for three days), however, in reality, I ended up eating about six and a half meals because I couldn’t actually swallow the food without feeling a churning in my stomach, and some food coming back up.

The saddest part of it all was that one of the ladies who worked at the McDonald’s began to recognize me, she works at the McDonald’s on 25th near University Prep. “You again?” she said. And to this sarcasm, I promptly responded with “medium fries and Oreo McFlurry please.”

Unlike the movie Supersize Me, I didn’t weigh myself before or after, and I didn’t monitor my cholesterol (What is cholesterol? Sorry Mr. Whitney, I totally paid attention last year). I just ate the food as it was in front of me. So what about the effects on my body?

Well I’ve always had a bit of girth and my skin has never been great. After the three days, my tummy hadn’t grown too much. However, over the weekend my face had a healthy dose of breakouts.! Yay!

All this aside, the effects on my body were best summed up by a brief conversation with Mr. Whitney. As he heard about my ordeal, he proceeded to ask me one simple question, “It may be a little personal…but how have your bowel movements been?” To this, I responded with something simple: “Not great man, not great at all.”

By Mahir Piyarali

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